Valentines love fractal pattern
There is a simple map for the journey from here to Here. There is no distance between us and what we want and need most to live fully: our Self. To travel the non-distance to NowHere, enter in, intrepid heart, enter in.
There are lots of fancy-schmancy roadmaps for seekers of something out there, all have their beauty and purpose, nothing wrong with them, no problem. Many people enjoy the long route that seems to lead them somewhere they want to go, they have many signposts along the way, “Yes you’re getting there. See, this is better and that is better.” In my life I am eternally grateful for the ruthless compassion that found it’s way to me to call off the search, to stop, be still and fully enter in and engage wherever I found myself. What I found/find within every experience mundane, sublime, horrifying in full-spectrum human life is the treasure I longed for most: Mine own Beloved Self, here, there and everywhere. The one who longed and sought ended, the lost is found in I Am; in the pure absolute where even that sound disappears and pure all-powerful thunderous Silence reigns supreme.
How does this come to pass? It is to stop, Be still and know that I Am, and enter in to what is being experienced and avoided: both the sublime as well as the horrific. When we tell the unvarnished truth that we do not live the truth that has been revealed and opened in our consciousness, we find that it is due to one thing: we don’t want to enter in to our experience, but we want it to change. On top of that, we resist change, comfortable in our hells until they become too uncomfortable. That seems to take a lot, doesn’t it? We exhaust ourselves seeking something to assuage the pain and suffering, we even become evildoers, living backward in our pursuits, anything please—but simply enter into it, face it ourselves directly. If you’ve been with me for long, I have undoubtedly asked you, “what is the very good reason you are doing that?” The answer is usually that the conditioning endured by children in states of powerlessness proved overwhelming, traumatic and we don’t want to experience it ever again. Period. Avoidance at all costs, and it costs a terrible exacting price, rather than A-void-dance.
Trauma is the perception that our life is at risk. Reading this, the good news is that you have survived it. So why is it so difficult to enter in now, when your life isn’t at risk? Because the identification that formed around the wound from the trauma(s) will cease to exist. Childhood is traumatic, just growing up even in basically adequate circumstances is traumatic. A person once asked me, “Is there any birth that isn’t traumatic?” Perhaps not. I know of one that occurred in a state of ecstasy in an ocean cove with dolphins. The way we enter this world is often the exact metaphor we live out in life. That’s what made rebirthing such a powerful technique. What rebirthing actually is, is entering in to the experience directly, dynamically and the rebirth takes place, the old trauma breathed and washed away. Hot tubs and breath work may be necessary to undo that trauma, but really, we are being birthed every moment—every moment we die to the moment before. We tend to ignore this fact of life, avoiding death, avoiding the void we don’t know is also the womb of infinite potential. We want our mommies and daddies instead. They or somebody is going to give it to us by god!
To enter in, intrepid explorer means to stop, drop everything, empty out, nakedly innocently wisely enter in consciously, wide awake, this moment here and now as is: As Is inclusively. For those who haven’t yet had an inkling or experience of the treasury of natural perfection that awaits us within every experience, it’s quite an act of courage that arises amid a terrified vulnerability that the brave and valiant heart quakes in front of, but enters in anyway. I’ve traveled down many roads, learned and forgotten more tools and techniques than can possibly be implemented to arrive at this simplicity: enter in. It’s often a screeching screaming leap of faith in to the horror and out into the unknown. In my own enduring discipline and that of those I am honored to companion, it may take much to get to the no-holds-barred wrestling match that pins us down finally and utterly until we give way, yield, cry, “uncle!” Frequently we are just too exhausted to get up again—we finally die on the cross and find the sweet spot that awaits us there. I remember vividly when it occurred to me never get up again, but stay down in, all the way down in until the non-distance from here to Here takes place. I call this experience meeting in the heart of truth. It’s the NowHere where everything that matters takes place, the holy playground upon which we meet light heart to light heart, soul to soul, lover and beloved of truth, belly to belly, broken down and lifting up as love has its way with us. Until love and the truth of unity set us free to love impossibly, impeccably, beyond comprehension, all-inclusively with Self selflessly, LightHeartedly.
The Companion doesn’t provide anything that isn’t already Here. No great display of magical siddhis/powers necessarily takes place. The abracadabra mantra indicates the deep attuned conscious union with what is. Sometimes we slog through the muck and mire of long-abandoned areas of consciousness as light bearers of pure awareness. From having entered in and disappeared in This, the LightHearted Companion emerges as the Holy Fool of and for This love. The reflecting appearance of a Someone simply is essentially engaged and conversing from the absolute, perhaps playfully with joy, or ruthlessly cutting through the structures of nonsense, but always revealing what already is so simple by Being LightHearted, who we are, what I This Am is. Entering in, all the way down in is ultimately a disappearing act that empties out, is full of potential and births all.
The End of Usury
No human conditioned mind can grasp, fathom or use what This is. The mistake so many make, and so many are making money from, is the idea that we can use This to “manifest” a better human life, free of suffering, and even seemingly altruistically do good(code for being acceptable, worthy, belonging). Busting that hubris comes along in the organic unfolding always. This past year in the offerings that include my own total experience, an excursion into what I came to call the sacred wound occurred. Amazingly, yet another level of pain and woundedness arose in my system due to the satguru life is, and among the many revelations that occurred was the recognition and even deeper valuing of being, entering in as is— what takes place could be called healing, but there is no one and nothing in need of healing. Whole making, peacemaking, fun making and love making in life, daily life As Is, happens when we enter in—my life fulfilling, unreasonably joyous and free is a testimony to that fact.
I’ve looked long and hard at what changes, grows, evolves, awakens, embodies and what does not that is already whole, perfect and complete within itself and the marriage bond of love between the two that are one. The changeless and the ever-changing are indivisible and when we enter in, we stand in our humanity as essential to the fulfillment of the divine as the divine is the fulfillment of humanity.
It’s crucial to find this out for oneself, not take my word for it but let the word point you to the truth of the matter. It’s a relationship of unity that is of mutual benefit, and all our relations are to be derived from it. It’s the meaning and purpose of human life, the point of existence that shines out from the core: the star tetrahedron, dynamic double torus and black whole we are. It all reveals when we are ripe. Ripeness occurs naturally as we enter in, letting all be as is while the truth actively engages us until satisfaction arises—only in conscious union.
We suck at relationships and we are a relational species here in the land of infinite diversity in infinite combinations that are all one. The cause of this is the same: we are unwilling to enter in, humbly die to our self, selfish needs and desires, avoidance of pain, and yield to a love that demands everything of us, all of us. That level of maturity escapes those who haven’t entered in enough to have the willingness to do whatever it takes to stay true to the truth of our unity no matter what. That means to stop the action, be still and burn in all the drive and momentum to follow the course long laid out that ends in the same known hell and damnation. There’s always an excuse, and that’s the ruthlessness of the merciful annihilating all-powerful absolute truth and love that we are. Facing that, burning in shame and humiliation, acknowledging we have betrayed what we know to be so once again. We let our conditioning be more powerful by giving it the power to dominate us. It’s awful to face, we’d so much rather not expose to the light the darknesses of the unconscious shadows within that run the show, rule the day and our interactions. Good news: This is an end to that. Blessed are the truly contrite repentant sincere souls for they shall know forgiveness, salvation, grace and gratitude boundlessly.
If we do not feel we have the ability to face all that and tell the truth, we will not “go” the non-distance from here to Here. We will not unlearn how not to be This we are. The remedy begins with telling the truth, not with judgment, harshness, blame, guilt or shame, but with humility and kindness, knowing our saving grace is at work in the very heart of truth. We tell the truth, “I haven’t got what it takes of myself and I don’t really believe anyone does or that I can access to what does” thus laying bare and entering in hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness at the core of our despair and desperation. The machinations of survival of a “me” that doesn’t exist but as a thought tend to show up. These patterns are powerful, tricky, exist and operate at subtle levels, but are not as powerful and all-pervasive as This Stillness. We reach the end of two powers, good and evil. When This takes hold in our lives we are goners. It’s already a done deal no matter how many more lifetimes it takes. If you’re reading this now, it could be now for you—the only time there is. Why wait? Why put it off? For what purpose?
I have tested this, gambled my entire life on what has been revealed that it might be lived fully. A few years ago in place of a birthday celebration, I was inspired to create a day of celebrating Being This Alive. It’s an everyday matter, but we single out special days, holy-days, to make some kind of a fuss, an occasion. August 8, 2015, the 8:8:8 Lion’s Gate seemed an excellent day to invoke the sovereign Real. It’s the big(by infinite grace) deal of abundant life available to all, not made a big deal of, but shared with anyone curious enough to ask.
Take, for example, that fact that we frequently wait for the funeral to recognize how deeply we appreciate someone’s unique Presence and their gifts—including those of propelling us headlong into what we’d rather avoid. Crash! Brain splitting headaches, pains in the neck and elsewhere get all our attention. We want to use the other to avoid or to make it all better, get the missed and longed for pleasure that is the natural experience of union we lack by avoiding, not entering in. Thus we suck at relationship, whether it’s with our true nature or with one another, we all are involved in lack and usury, indebtedness, withholding, giving power away to an undependable inadequate (to us) other, impotent rage and hatred at that arise, are entertained and indulged, and the fear of abandonment and death keep us bound up. This completely overlooks that passionate abundant life we are that can burst forth within us and from us as our own unique contribution to life as This life.
The Direct Route Home
The direct route, the only map you’ll ever need, is to enter in as is. Presence, inquire/experientially explore, Be Still, this trifecta works in a dynamic union. Amid the nothing ever happens of the absolute, everything happens: implosions, explosions, big bangs, breakthroughs, breakdowns of insufficiencies and compensatory structures built around them. When we look at the psyche, that’s what we see. When we look at society, we see institutionalized separationism abounds, manmade means of domination and control we call patriarchy and its worshipped transactional economy as the only means of getting. It all is coming down as This is rising up within us all. It’s a collective upwising as Swami Beyondananda calls it. We are the coming of the Holy Fool of and for This love, going sane in an insane world. We cannot help ourselves, there’s an internal imperative externalized in dramas and crises all over the sickening planet and throughout the ailing dying species that all are opportunities for inclusive whole-making right within us—our very own consciousness that is the one consciousness right here and now, invoked, embodied, forgiving, embracing, liberating and manifesting.
So as the I-LightHeart-You Day Valentine offering, even if you cannot love yourself or what is in your life or the world this moment, do not let anything stop you from stopping, entering in deeply and fully this moment as is. Be still, and know that I This Am, and let flow whatever arises within—you’re functioning as a clearinghouse for human consciousness that can offer the purity of Being as living translucence. There is no greater act of love than to lay down one’s life for one’s True Friend, the one within and appearing as all our relations without; to give all that one is and has to be true to the truth, authentically even unto the death. “You’ll be the death of me—YAY!!!” It’s how the real is recognized as Real, and the no distance is traversed. For I-LightHeart-MySelf Day, give yourSelf This, enter in and find it already Here, yourself as self and other already This, as is, wherever, whenever, however, with whomever you are. Stop and stay, insist This reveal amid the distress, whatever it takes as long as it takes. Be in it, essentially and completely engaged, don’t hold back—be totally real, tell the truth respectfully of all involved regardless of safety factors. Let the bravery of your indomitable invincible heart take over.
In this lies all that we long for forever. All the glories organically unfold, the deepest secrets discovered the world over in lineages that proclaim the same thing in different ways, offering distinct and valuable facets of infinity. It is indigenous, inherent, organic and real, proceeding at the pace of nature, of true nature birthing and incarnating, manifesting and liberating as a whole. Stop trying to get there, somewhere else, Be Here Now, as Ram Das said so long ago. The treasure, the diamondesque pearl beyond all price is right here. Take the direct route to NowHere in faith, stubborn determination, desperation, whatever you’ve got—Be This brave, it’s within you to do so. Come to Be still and know yourSelf as what does it all gracefully, mercifully, ruthlessly annihilating all that is malformed by loving it to death. Come alive as abundant life. It awaits us all within, pumping that brave heart of light that truly wants what it actually can have, because This is actualizing Itself in, as and through us only and aways Now. It’s gospel: it/we/i/This is Here now, nowhere else but right here, this now, and this now, and This Now. Stop everything and find out for yourself without delay! Have a happy I-LightHearted-MySelf day! Yes, Holy Fool (it takes One to know One) here’s your invitation to enter in the holy playground of This LightHearted Being you are and enjoy yourSelf to the fullest, as This lives its abundant life to the fullest in, as, through US the gorgeous magnificent unity self of This we are.
As a voice inside me once said and I immediately obeyed, Don’t just read it, do it! Now and always My Beloved, Now and always, before all and unto the end, to the beyond and back to right here again. I lay down my life for My True Friend, for My Beloved I die is ecstasies of union, rapturous blissful union amid mundane daily life, loving the dishes unwashed, the windows clean, the paperwork piles, the policeman that reminds via ticket that I haven’t got my papers in order, the friend that reaches out, the responsive outreach that embraces it all, enters in with, selflessly, fearlessly demonstrating This Love Is for as long as it takes whatever it takes. And it takes all. It is all in—in order to give forth, to offer out the blessèdness. The flame of Love burns brightly like the life-giving sun right here in This heart. Blessed are those who die in love for they shall know the love, the life that never dies nor ends. May all enter in as is,
LightHeartedly, as always, Anrael
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