LightHeArting US; My Funny Valentine

My first act…
The sound that arose as a grumbling in the belly
A womb grown too small
I emitted a soundless cry
“Let me out!”
A song to a rhythmic heartbeat heard
in surround sound
permeating my entirety.
My first cry of freedom
resounded in the open space: “I Am NowHere!”
For good or ill it seems to play out.
I die to return to the safe confines
of the womb of all creation
nestling in, and then
I break free of confinements again and again.
Poor Mother Father ever at their labors;
frictional hot sweaty ecstatics
of lovemaking
bear me upon waves of potentials
yet to come forth…
cries and sighs emerge in the throes
up from the nether regions hearts opened into — minds
quiet at rest in heart’s knowing awareness
and belly’s activities of Eros’s agape
with the irresistible Belovèd Soul Psyche. 
And oh they suffer the consequences!
And birthings come forth
potentials actualize
and die returning again.
It matters not what words we put on it,
This remains unspeakably whole
while fire lights and warms the surroundings
with Love’s expressive wonders.
_____________ ♾ __________
What paints the canvas of our lives? 
Who gardens this inner landscape of mind, heart and soul? 
Under what sculpting influence is the body of our lives shaped? 
Holy Fool abiding Here cannot find a “recovering creative” as the HeArtist known as Julia Cameron in her excellent book The Artist’s Way puts it. It’s a 12-step recovery program to help people realize that we are Love’s Art in action. To come through the artist’s process requires getting to the heart of the matter, all matters that concern us. 
What Is the LightHeArtist’s Way?
How does This have Its creative Way with US, the unity self we are? 
Each of us is the answer, each of us creatively finds our way.
What if creativity is transformative? What if the creative life impulse transmits energies that transmute? What if change requires struggle, stress, strife?
When I was young, like many teenage girls, someone gave me a diary and I started writing poetry. It was a safe place to find out and express my feelings and thoughts. In an age of the advent of singer/songwriters, poetry became lyrics, and music came to flow through. I remember going to a John Denver concert years later as he was talking about writing a song. He was standing there with his guitar hanging on him and with an arm gesture, moving across the air above his head, said “The song came to me.” That was my experience exactly. So nice and confirming to hear it from him.
Nowadays I write. It’s coming to me to write this. It’s emerging out of nowhere and includes my evolving inclusive whole holy experience getting to the heart of matters having to do with US: our creative dynamic unfolding; the survival of our species in this wild experiment on this incredible garden of a planet. 
Gifted with sight through the creative LightHeArting center, there’s often stopping still to behold the creative activity of our true nature happening within and without. Right now, externally it seems a moment of midwinter stillness. All quiet, no fans are humming of the refrigerator or heater. The sounds of my plants growing is so very soft, seeming slow and almost imperceptible. Cat is napping and not snoring. Dog is outside not barking. There’s no wind, no people about, it’s bright and beautiful out with the sun shining reflecting upon the snow melting away. In moments like these I feel into the emerging out of nowhere everything everywhere NowHere. What could it be like to feel and sense so subtly even the walls emerging and returning? What has seemed so solid and real is not, it’s permeated with space, sound and light. Can I put my hand through it? Put what through what exactly?
It was after years of apprehending the Silence and Stillness of This LightHearted Being, the here/not here dual unity that This movement and activity showed Itself. Suddenly I became interested in it after all the time of basking in the glow of ceasing to be anyone doing anything, but simply being. I’m a bit slow on the uptake sometimes. 😆 As I read Christian Mystic Joel Goldsmith, the words the activity of Truth in your consciousness began to leap out of the page and grab my attention. Luckily I began with not knowing what that was. Most of my apprehension of Truth came from the outside in, or so it seemed. True Nature had been preparing my system for this next level of realizing. What I, in my Holy Fool Way call the FU-UNctioning (freedom unlimited—unleashed now) of our Essence was beginning. The profound contrast between Stillness and the creative expression of True Nature began to open — not in a way that I, in all my wisdom, could understand, but experientially. Today it is normal for my consciousness to focus in on the Changeless arising spontaneously as the Ever-changing in constant dynamic holographic unfolding and enfolding while the Stillness and Silence remain as is. It’s a development I didn’t even know was possible.
Like all prodigals, my focus had been on the return from the outer worlds of being and life to getting Home. Now Home was about to reveal Home Now Here fully alive and real. As this proceeded, at the last birthday celebration I had maybe five years ago, my invitation was Celebrating Being This Alive and Real. After years of exploration, inquiry, watching closely, studying the masters and mystics with a new eye of the Heart, the Divine scientific experiment of my life shifted radically.  From opening into and releasing individuality unto the pure formless essence, a turnaround happened. It became other directional: the return of This transcendent to Here: immanence as This glory everywhere emerging, and finally to incarnation. This living mystery, including the creative discovery of Incarnation is still very much an HeArtwork in progress…until the last breath. 
I’d like to report, and often do, the great fun, the play and fu-un of all This unfolding perfection. I used to feel that artists who do these great suffering agonies for their art were overdramatic. But what if the agony and ecstasy of being instrumental in the LightHeArting transformative process involves suffering? Who suffers? What is suffering, let alone suffering in allowing creation to happen in and through us, as it comes to us? The song came to me… 
Paul McCartney put it in yet another silly love song. Shakespeare put it, 
To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day
To the last syllable of recorded time,
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The dusty way to death. Out, out brief candle!
Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more: it is a tale told by an idiot
full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing. 
This scene of Macbeth after hearing the cry and death of his wife shows perhaps the Author’s very human experience of futility; of wars and battles and struggles for dominance. As we journey with Macbeth, and who hasn’t, are we not touched? It harkens back to my father as he rushed down the hospital corridor to get to my mother hearing her cry out as she died. I believe he felt much the same as Macbeth, and he broke there, descended into a futility he never really arose from until he died, though he tried. He had no creative outlet. In his time, men didn’t ask for directions let alone help.
Doesn’t our HeArtwork offer our suffering recognition and in that, direction? There are horrors to face in this dualistic world of living hell realms, mired in depths of sorrow, pain and trauma. These are outer reflections of internal suffering — that’s untended.
What if This creative LightHeArting Life is a Great HeArtworking undertaking to be free in conscious unity? What if each of us is essential to This HeArt working Itself out? 
What if the transformative evolving creative unfolding/enfolding hologram coming alive and real on our stage is perfect? What if it’s a huge relief to meet our suffering, and as Gangaji put it, when we know how to suffer it isn’t suffering? What if all the strategies we developed as children coping with a crazy and violent world to defend against the overwhelm —  the trauma that wasn’t creatively let alone Essentially engaged with by anyone around us — simply no longer suffices to get us through? What if that’s perfect, indicating the structures of mind that need to come down? What if it is so painfully confining that they now require us to get with it, get withnessing our deeper deepest bottomless  layers — what if this is the action required to Be the change? 
For me, experiential Presencing with, inquiring, Being Still, and recognizing the dynamic creative life force energy actively engaging experience as is, is the Way that True Nature has been revealed to fu-unction when we unlearn how not to allow it. The phrase that underscores The Unschool for the Holy Fool is: unlearning how not to Be who we are in Truth. When we take our hands off matters, relax and allow, This is free to take care of us. Easy to say, not easy to non-do. This Is endlessly creative and totally wholly responsive to all itself in Love by virtue of there being no distance and no difference between the transcendent and immanent. This Is the nothing that is everything and can be anything, conditions permitting. 
My funny LightHeArted Valentine to US is, as ever, a Re-birth-day invitation to discover for ourselves what it is to Be This LightHeArting Holy Fool fully Alive and wholly inclusively Real NowHere. We receive a long longed for illumination that uplifts us in recognition that This Is. We are plunged headlong into the depths of suffering, dying to ourselves and to all we thought we knew, had, were and were doing. We are rebooted after being shut off into unfamiliar unknown areas of creativity. And essentially creatively engaged with new life, feeling our way, we offer out HeArtworks of essential expression as orchestrating instruments of Being and vehicles of delivery: outlets. The creative flow of affluence returns. What goes around comes around. The creative Life of Hu*man: divine hearted creaturehood, is fullfiling potentials that already exist in the hereness of Here. 
We start where we are and tell the truth in whatever way occurs. It may look like smudges of black ink rubbing out the white page. The creative self-transformative Life we are isn’t always pretty. It can look like HeArtwork I saw when I studied in Bregenz, Austria of artists’ paintings before WWII. There was a traveling show that came to town. Our art history professor who ran the program arranged for us to go. The artists of the inner LightHeArting Presence painted scenes of the Holocaust to come, as yet unformed, but potentials emerging in the minds of people like Hitler, out from within an inner agony that was foretelling and warning. We are repeating history because we haven’t unlearned enough from it. 
Yes, I am given to delve in raptures of recognition we don’t have enough of, and share the glories of living LightHeArted Herein. Any valentine should offer that. I’m given to send out many. I spend many days in personal and interpersonal activities of This touching down where it hurts most.  Spacious merciful untrammeled awarenesses is offered to let the natural healing mechanisms work LightHeArting. It’s a Life of creative discovery unfolding into fulfillments better than I could have imagined. We may even find ourselves smiling and laughing where before there was rage, hatred, terror and grief — auguries of horrors that untended could act out hurting our chances of real living; continuing to make us sick and crazy; killing us. 
The dark HeArts are important as they break down, destroy our painful confinements, and bring to light what dispels the mesmeric hold the lie of separation has on us. Befriend the shadow. Our True Friend does — dies to undo the entrancing hold of hell. Our true nature, the never born helps immensely! Be the True Friend to those lost in shadowlands of suffering and pain untended. Right now, today, as you are, look out: Every soul is the True Friend. There’s no one else Here. Take a chance, consider what it might mean to Live that Truth no matter what. Leap into the unknown. Polish the radiance. That’s the activity of the Light of the Heart of Truth where the Real Companion meets Itself. It’s the Koinonos Yeshua and others have embodied and are actively embodying in the growing stronger glowing Heart of living Truth. It’s gonna break open our human hearts, they’re good, wonderful hearts but too confining, aren’t they? Yet they open into the true nature of Being LightHearted. Such the Holy Fool we are Being Hu*man. That’s Life, thank Goodness. 
Posted in Being Real, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Shattering Light of the Real

There are constructs of the conditioned mind to which we are attached, with which we are identified that get shattered, broken, destroyed. That sounds violent doesn’t it? Scary. The wrathful god of Judaism, the wrathful dieties of Buddhism, Shiva and Kali the destroyers are part of our human archetypal lexicon.

I can still feel the vibrations of the vanished tracks, the vanished house, the vanished lives of my people, among the cactus of Ute Indian lands, and the vanishing Ute language we spoke there, barely remembered by anyone today, even me. I have pressed my ears to all these forms before their dying, to sound the mysteries they embodied on the earth.

I have learned there is only one actor in the cosmos, and the actor is creating billions and billions of resonating images that continually manifest and return to the One. Sound is the soul of the One that drinks the light that It is creating moment by moment in order to continue existence. This House of shattering light—this perceptual reality in which we live and of which we are a part—exists only for the soul’s purpose of continuing its own livelihood.

Now it is time for death’s illusion to give way, along with the illusion of material form, before the reality of these vibrations. I believe that if we will all learn to listen, the vibrations will give forth their meanings, encoded in the crystal soil of our native Earth, to fill the close pressed ear with song.

~Joseph Rael

The way This works with me is that there’s a whisper in Silence of in*forming waves that are taken in, vibrate throughout and translate into words, actions, speech. The experience that phrased itself The Shattering Light of the Real then referred me back to Joseph Rael’s book In the House of Shattering Light. He drew a painting of his visionary experience as well as writing the book. He’s of Picuris Pueblo and Southern Ute descent, speaks the sacred language Tiwa, and is also a Christian Mystic who has traveled around the earth building Peace Chambers. I met him, sat with him, and learned from him and his books decades ago. I’m so glad he popped in as the shattering light of the Real emerged to express today.

Rumi translation by Coleman Barks
Art by Michael Greene

The emergence of the sound, love and light of our true nature rends the veils dynamically.

However, the birthing of a miracle is often as painful as the birthing of a child, for new life must rip the veil of existing structure if it would declare its presence.

~Yeshua in Love Without End, Glenda Green

In this book describing the conversations between the artist/author and Yeshua the Christ sitting for his portrait he often spoke of the structures of the mind that give way as the Presence, the Spirit come forth.

Rarely do we anticipate the forms miracles take in our lives. It is the nature of the miraculous to be outside the norms, the complacent conditioning of human life that automatically constructs and reifies the formless into things: objects to maintain a status quo no matter how hellish that seems safe due to being familiar.

I am often asked to share more personally what it is like to as Such, live thus. It ain’t easy, I can sure testify to that. It demands everything, requires all of us, it’s a holistic inclusive process that breaks all bounds. Unless you can’t help yourself, you must discover the Real or die, I don’t recommend it. The first blush of the honeymoon, the fantasies of what it will give you will die crucifyingly. Yet what emerges is … aaahhhh.

When I say these things I am always speaking from the experiences alive in my unfolding. As I write the translating formations shimmer to HeArticulations that have a life, are Life that has purpose and direction. My system serves as a vibrant outlet, my life serves to demonstrate our indivisibility from This, from each other, from All. My sense of identity has shifted radically to the immeasurable ineffable that graces this individual emanation body still so very Hu*man creature-ly, vulnerable and at times (that don’t last as long anymore), an incoherent Essence-soul-body continuum in constant conversion and conversation. I am content to not know who/what I Am, what will evidence Itself in any given moment that can include old habits shadowing with pure freedom liberating, and the light of truth illuminating. There’s a lot going on amid the nothing that ever happens; the non-happening.

It’s painful at times as This shatters additional aspects of unconscious conditioning structures operating in the automatic autonomic amazing system of incarnation. There’s humiliating humbling that occurs, welcomed as the erasure of the false by the treasures of loving truth, merciful awareness. As Gangaji said, “When you know how to suffer it isn’t suffering.” Buddha taught suffering and the end of suffering declaring as the first noble truth, life is suffering. We seek escape. That is not the way… not the Way, the Truth and the Life…

I’ve been given any number of revelatory experiences, visions, endowments, illuminations — they are numberless now. It’s a way of living that dispels shadows and mesmeric conditioning along with actualizing so much that This Is. Dwelling within the Indwelling Presence that has taken up residence and is renovating the entire structure so that it feels at Home Here. For awhile it was like the vertical was being established: ascending descending flow of information. Great gestalts of information descended such that dissolving was the only way to receive it all utterly. Then the movement shifted as This became more established to Withinness pervading out throughout. Our systems are designed to be exploratory perceivers, actualizing and expressive outlets for consciousness’ cosmic dancers.

It’s cross-like now, feet grounded on earth’s holy ground, head open receiving, awareness dropped down — like a vortex with the heart’s still point center aligned and in flow with the belly and head centers united, all 7 embodied centers whirling. Arms are extended out in embrace and used for offering out the blessing and benedictions of embodied, active, engaged aliveness real and here. That unmoving sweet spot of the broken open heart bears it all, the glory and the horror, all points between.

The Personal Essence, Pearl of Great Price is mysteriously alive and forming, fulfilling and informing more clearly, powerfully, dynamically every day. There’s nobody, no idea of a person that can experience and live it. It’s a hollowed out hallowed state of Being. Those still in an identified state will have great difficulty engaging even though the truth of it sticks in the craw, buries somewhere deep. We’re still just brushing the barest levels of divine human creature potential. There’s no stopping This once it gains momentum and ownership of a life. Our longing to belong is transformed by Being This that belongs, belongs to everyone and all.

I began inquiry long ago. That’s why, after being introduced to Atma Vichar, the deep investigation of who/what is, I was given to appreciate it’s been This exploring Itself as all Life all along. Having got caught out here in the outer realms and by virtue of coming into form, and what that’s like, individualizing consciousness got confused, hurt, scared and angry, lost in grasping and avoiding through pains and pleasures of the body, heart, mind. So the return and raptures of reunion must take place first, and in varying degrees continually, even in hard places. As matters literally and figuratively get cleared out, veils rend, hurts learned from and fully assuaged, the Absolute is apprehended as Source and Cause. All kinds of and levels of Homecoming occur. It’s quite an alive dancing emptiness of greater inclusivity than simply individual storylines. We are a hologram, each of us the whole, complete with dynamic fractals that flow interdimensionally. I can say and point to something like that because whether a me wills it or no, there’s been a imperative drive for freedom that goes from suffering, to freedom to Be and live, to living as This living as us. We know next to nothing about living in and as the Totality As Is unfolding all Itself at once inclusive of our individuality.

I have never been inclined to teach or to be placed in that position much. I’m unfolding and share as I go. There’s always a prayer that it does some good. I have deep admiration for those who seem to be able to teach. My great relief and recognition came with Papaji asserting, “No teaching, no teacher, no student.” When first I was given to offer satsang back in the late 90’s, my poster had that quote in large letters. It’s always been deeply respectful of This unfolding as each and all perfectly as is, as was directly revealed and experienced at the emergence into pinnacles of unity at the emergence from my first dark night. That clarity settled in my bones and nothing that has happened since, including evictions, lack of income, poverty, loss of relationships, sickness, deaths — that light continues to dispel and shatter all the unconscious automatic autonomic structures of human life.

If you’ve read my writings or sit with me both the ruthlessness of the shattering light and the tenderest tending, empathic compassion pervade the field along with the creative dynamic life force energy born of freedom in unity. This has brought that miracle about in a wretch like me over the decades of this one life of several sequential yet overlapping incarnations. This One Life has made it so, both with the seeming identified as other me but willing to break open, and also despite that selfing me that wants so much to survive.

Is there an individual configuration of consciousness and coalesced energies that births and deaths in sequential lifetimes? Is time and the life of an individualized soul sequential? Is it not a cyclic whirling arising out of timeless spaceless Immanent domains of Being? Does not change in one place not affect every other place in this astonishing quantum entanglement? All ideas come, arise and get shattered to bits over and over until nothing is clung to anymore. Brought finally to undifferentiated silence and stillness, We Rest In Peace with all the comings and goings inside the majesty we are.

Morning Activity of Stillness Burning

The post death freedom of no self, no mind, no body is the Presence of pure awareness. There is absence of mind and so absence of objects of mind. It’s luminous emptiness beyond all ideas of those words. Beyond the initial experience of void, a fullness of potential, a pregnancy and activity is subtly experienced. Particular concepts arise in mind, take shape or get believed in — reified. Some may be residuals of undigested energies from within the spacetime continuum that continue to vibrate in old forms awaiting the Presence. We are all awaiting Something to free us while providing a sense of connection, unity, aren’t we? We cannot do it ultimately on our own. We may not know it, but we await the Presence of Merciful Awareness to penetrate the illusion of separation illuminating and vibrating with such Aliveness to a degree of intensity that it is irresistible. The limiting forms yield, dissolve, break down, shatter.

Nothing can stand in the face of Suchness and maintain a form that originates from emptiness and is destined to return Herein. That return is a kind of change that looks like death. The former forms of energy (thoughts, matter, body, feelings, identifications) cease to be in the form they were.

Thoughts are like wind, they blow through space picking up smells like rose and manure. But it’s all just air, hot, cold, gales, breezes, stillness. Don’t pay them any mind. The Source of thought calls. We can trace back until we find the consciousness that remains pure, clear, untouched by any thought. Be free. Breathe the freedom throughout the form bodies that were. Let all be returned unto the welcoming enfolding embrace of the Absolute. Wait for This to arise and act. … “Wait upon the l.o.r.d” (law of radical dominion). Many of us can’t, we reconstitute around further residuals prematurely… It’s okay. More undoing to be done. 😝😘 We die, and rebirth daily.

Even in such complete joyous reunion, rebirthing happens. A new rainbow emanation body of pure conscious light, flowing energy enters this earth plane bearing gifts, the gifts of the All In All. No identification amid a localization of openness to the nonlocal allowing potentials to manifest as need arises, and for fun. Such potentials await as the strange glory of death. All Life is This actualizing It’s potentials, and we are not other than This. There is no such thing.

A residual of my past came to light this morning in my reflection on a recent happening. When I was around 7 on my birthday my father falsely accused me of lying, slapped me across the face and sent me to my room. This morning openness is allowing the energy of sadness to arise, a sweet melting occurs along with the welling up. All kinds of conclusions that little birthday girl came to entered the clear open space of being and reconciled, returned from the Child unto the Mother luminosity as the Tibetan vajrayana Buddhists speak of it. The thought of, “Gee I have such a hard time birthing here” came and went. A deep tender acknowledgement of birth trauma as repeating difficulty in rebirthing. Just a soft appreciative embrace of that girl and all she endured, took on with a sweet recognition she also was/Is This.

There are so freakin’ many untended residuals of pain and hatred incarnating and acting out in this abysmal land and polluted atmosphere that is of pure true nature! It’s shocking, particularly when the false, the untrue and the injustices continue to be called real instead of dying amid it rather than act it out one more time. I can not deny my hatred of it at the level of my human experience. Fortunately, blessedly, I am no longer limited to that. The desire not to be here, not to experience all this or be at the effect of it doesn’t dominate anymore. The experience without defense the anguish that arises in perceiving the world as is, relationships as they are is all available to be tended in and by Merciful Awareness. I get to die here! What a strange gift death is! No more un*tended residuals for this one — bring it all to the warm firelight of the eternal flame alight in the sacred heart of my being. These passageways of the nervous system, the hologram’s communication systems are activated and functional now. Stay and wait for the burning to complete to ash, this process is trusted. All that energy arises to return whence all comes. The unlearning of coping and compensating due to the disconnection and ignorance of how This functions is well underway in this system. Now kindly letting be, allowing what’s left of the stuff and junk be and come to the funeral pyre burning for freedom in the heart of unity all in good time, in the organicity of true nature’s unfolding. That’s quite different from the hot house and fake fertilizing from the anxiety to get out of, away from, or fighting with pain. Let’s celebrate the dying as the rainbow emerges to declare the full spectrum of Being that incarnates.

Death is our friend precisely because it brings us into absolute and passionate presence with all that is here, that is natural, that is love.
— Reiner Maria Rilke

The moth flies into the flame.
The caterpillar disintegrates in the cocoon.

The phoenix, bird no more, rises from the ashes.

So the at*tending continues in me, with those I’m given to meet until a bright light shines through a more resilient clear open ignited heart. Something neverborn never dies yet becomes ever more Immanent and evident, freely explicit.

Be LightHearted — the end is in*sight. ✌️👏😍

It’s a new beginning, new life, new energy system every day, every moment. May all Being awaken and Be free in Peace, Plenty, Potential, and Power of the Silent resounding Presence. 🙏💖

P.S. I find myself model-less, at the “ place” as the space before models arise, even while offering this imperfect yet fairly adequate hopefully useful one of my experience, explorations and syntheses. If anything touches, is useful, that’s only the mysterious Something coming through in a way a reader can consider or grok. The Truth cannot be spoken. I only offer my own given unique flavorings of the one taste; of what already has well-established precedent, is already so and inexplicably Here… even if there’s slapping of the face! ☺️ perhaps one day it’ll have nowhere to land, just This self-illuminating open space of a face. Perhaps the would-be slapper is no longer a residual specter of my father or of my ancient killings due to speaking out but realizes these ones in pain only hurt themselves as they attack only their Self. Certainly the transformation from this morning until now is wondrous, freeing, enlivening. Until then, there’s more fuel for the fire, grist for the mill.

The Gardner

What if pain
Is creation breaking open
A buried star seed
Deeper under all
Bringing the celestial garden
To life in us?

What if the struggle
To break free
Is creation freeing itself
To be fully Here?

What if our relational pain
Never had to do with a you
Or a me at all —
But is unity discovering
Fulfillment in diversity?

What if we’ve had it all wrong
All the way along
And the agony of that
Is the birth pangs
Of what knows nothing
Of right and wrong?

What if the anguish of human
Living is a gateway to bliss,
That never suffers for an instant,
To enter this world
Through our broken open hearts
And eviscerated souls?

What if dying and death
Enriches the soil to fecundity
That allows the next generation
Of star seeds of vibrant light
Greater possibility
Than ever heretofore imagined?

What if we cannot have birth without death
Creation without destruction
Light without darkness
All so Life is sustained and maintained?

What if therefore we are
An ever-growing garden
That includes the struggle and strife
Of change that allows for evolution
Of consciousness?

What if I Am is the vine
We the branches fruitful and multiplying
Harvested and eaten
By the weed-eating, soil turning, rock removing

What if our questions
Our not knowing innocence
Our chaos, tears, fears, resistances
And our warm tender mercies
Open the Way
For the Gardener?



Posted in Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Nothing to Do

Nothing to do…

No where to go…

Nothing to accomplish…

above the cloud of obscurations yet grounded in lotus blossoming Life, the Shakyamuni Buddha in clear sky is This living dancing emptiness.

There is nothing to be done, fixed or changed by us. This vibrant animating Principle accomplishes all. Resting and quieting so This can be noticed and recognized is vital to our well-Being. So as we center with breath and awareness in the heart, present in our bodies, we can notice the liveliness of the animating Principle active within every aspect of physical life…

This arises collectively, within the collective consciousness activating actualizing in all receptive open human hearts. Our ways of opening differ, our ways of expressing unique yet are within the wHole-I-ness of LightHearted Being’s Presence HereNow as us. In This we are the living mystery, the Holy Fool.

The whole-I This Am Fool’s Wisdom is to know nothing, Be receptively in-formed, essentially engaged and conversant, know and experience empti-fullness, and ac-know-ledge This Is rejoicing in carefree self-abandon. The Holy Fool loves the hell out of everything, and silently resonates and shares the wealth: the limitless treasury of This as arises spontaneously. The Holy Fool knows not what will arise or should take shape and form, just revels in knowing and relishes experiencing that This reveals and realizes, arises and actualizes continuously.

The abundant Life This Is is actively engaged in manifesting itself out of nowhere — nothing but pure potential making Itself appear every moment…

Why then imperfection? Because collective mistaken misunderstanding blinded in duality distorts the View from Here. When we see through the indentified mind suffering we are conditioned to do something to fix it instead of turning within where nothing’s right or wrong. We turn our concerns over, awaiting Clarity to activate, clear up matters and act compassionately. We re-turn unto Source and original Cause. We Rest In Peace Within while This doeth the works in and through us actively…

Breathing happens, loving happens, embracing happens, giving what is received happens spontaneously, naturally, without thought though thoughts may also arise, exist and return empty play of consciousness… the thoughts we think, believe and are convinced are real are empty, unreal, not trustworthy. Watch and see, they are conditioned by the collective mesmerism in the trance of separation. Our ideas even of self, health, wealth, pleasure, are in the programming running unconsciously. That includes all our studies, conclusions we’ve come to, — Wisdom arises in the openness of not knowing.

We simply Be, Rest, empty of thingness in the beginning; empty of subject/object duality in the middle, empty of existence in the end — This living dancing emptiness full of infinite potential is self-arising creative expressiveness.

Change, transformation, transmutation, transubstantiation all appears to happen within the Changless’ dynamically alive being state wherein nothing ever happens. Form returned unto pure formlessness and formlessly reborn in renewal in accord with, in accordance, the living dancing emptiness naturally occurs. It’s how This works, the implicit functioning of natural radiant perfection: Dzogchen, Dabhar—the Word made flesh to dwell and dance deLight-fully among us, ultimately consciously as us.

This speaks using our vocal cords. This acts using our hands and bodies. We, of ourselves, do nothing. What a relief! We are responsible to quieten, turn/return within, to Rest In Peace letting conscious contact within take place. The animating Principle is let loose, freed to take us up and act through us instrumentally; free to come into the world offering out the blessings that are recognized to Be everywhere: Omnipresence animating everything everywhere is seen, recognized, made contact with, and thereby stimulated to awaken and be enlivened among those that are This as yet seeming asleep, unrecognized thereby unable to provide or be provided benefit. Those conditioned to seek and search outside themselves toward the nonexistent other, including that terrible idea of a God located elsewhere. There is no outside, other or elsewhere.

This clear seeing is what Buddha pointed to, and what Jeshua pointed to when he said, “Let thine eye be single and thy whole body shall be filled with light.” Single eye, not dualistic seeing good and evil, sick or well, rich or poor. Seeing This Is My Body Filled with Light, radiance appearing everywhere as Is in Truth of One Life, One LightHearted Being, One Body, there is only This One Alive and Real in This Real-m of Being makes All the difference we want to see in the world.

As This sees Itself through our hearts, we rejoice that It Is already so, Here Now, Be! Our system naturally resonates and asserts the actuality of Omnipresence animating everything. We see, recognize and gratefully ac-know-lege, feel, sense, experience This Is already NowHere—the heaven Within is without, with all! Relax, rest, Be, we don’t have to make This happen—it is already the greatest show on earth. We show it. We imbued shine from the still point in the LightHeart, the Innermost center of our being.

Giving ourselves the investment of time and space to quieten, turn within toward the Source of all inner activity, thoughts, emotions, sensations, perceptions — all energy forms… we drop all for now and drop deeper down than subtle patterns and programs of the psyche, letting all that simply kindly be and drop down deeper underneath to the substratum — a relaxing sinking down in through layers and layers letting everything be and be absorbed, dissolve as ephemeral empty formations we were engaged with… being breathing settling in the heart to heart connection, mine with yours, yours with mine, ours with a deep silent aware Heart shared, beating, pulsing Love in the space now open in conscious connection… heart to heart to Heart 💖♻️🎶 within us with One another… and within which we live, move and have Being, radiant, emanating LightHeartedly…

Here in This interconnected vast open space This Love is liberated, free to act. Our bodies are actively receiving, informed by This infinite intimate loving intelligent dynamic Principle of abundant Life — the Actual actualizing the Actuality in our bodies, hearts, minds, souls all of us. We open within and let This have access to us and have Its way with us, seeing and actualizing Itself. It’s beyond our comprehension but Is comprehensive.

Our open receptive system is then the portal through which This enters the world. We are essential for Its fulfillment in Life. If we ever wondered what our purpose is, This Is It. To Be instrumental in bringing forth the Real onto this plane of existence is the unbearable Light of Being. This open vulnerable Heart is the joyous fulfillment of human LightHearted Being… and Holy Fool of and for This Love Alive and Real.

This is. This only is. It is already so, so Be This that Only Is fully active, animated, enthused to Be This Alive and Real, fully uniquely utilized to Be the Changeless that changes Itself continuously. We cannot make happen what already Is. There’s nothing to do and no doer to do-doo it!

When This dawns, illuminates us, our total and whole system where previously was veiled, dimmed lights up and activates. It literally is essential for us and our world’s survival. This Life brings Itself forth to live! That includes the drive to survive, to awaken and enlighten, to know and be living Essence–all This Is, and to express, share and join in communion and union together as This.

Every moment we are invited to join in This together—working Its wonders exponentially as we recognize and experience we are in This and are This together, One.

My heart sings with your venturing this far in reading, contemplating, engaging with what is so uniquely expressing here. Thank you for your interest and support. This is offered in the generous inherent Spirit of mutual benefit. As you can open to enter in and thus we join in This together, sharing the bounty herein, that we have because we have received from Source through multiple avenues, and give of the fullness Herefrom. Even when we seemingly have nothing to give, we give faithfully, gratefully anyway. We always have what is free and inherent to our being. True nature adores a vacuum and fills full because This fills all space with more than enough. That’s so Holy Foolish of us! My soul celebrates This living Love, This Mystery living us.

May blessings and wonders awesomely abound, as they already actually do. 🤣

As Is, so Be.

As Such, live Thus.🙏🖤

🤫 🥳 🥰



Love to you, dear One I Am. ✌️🖖

LightHeartedly as ever, 💖

Anrael. 😍

Posted in Being Real, Contemplation, On Principle | Leave a comment

Valentine Adorations

Valentine Adorations

For This LightHearted Being, Valentine’s is I-LightHeart-You day. 😍💖 The discovery of everlasting all-enduring Love beneath all and within All is our greatest gift of Love to receive and share fully. The divine romance plays out in all our interactions with Life in all form, shapes, colors, sizes…species. Perhaps we’ll soon realize everyday is I Love You day: the Other that IS Mine Own LightHearted Being. We will live the lover’s dance of longing and fulfillment in the Heart of radiant Truth within which we live, which lives in and as us, which we are.

Our Belovèd never denies us, yet there are playful games of hide and seek. We do so love to chase and be caught in passionate embrace of re-Union dissolving utterly in ecstasies of surrender unto blissful union where we are nothing but This Love.

Let us find where our Belovèd is hiding in the here and now. Let us be found where we are hiding and be caught up in ever-loving arms. This incredible immaculate love affair of profound intimacy is what Life is. We can experience it all day and night if we but will give way completely wholly unto This Love. Right now, this moment is the one in which we have to receive and give. All time is within it, there is no yesteryear or tomorrow or an hour from now. Just This NowHere.

Oh, you don’t know how? You don’t know how to receive and give so impossibly? What if that’s not true? What if it’s not hard or confusing but actually super natural? What if you just relax and not know how but let it come to you? What if you discover being love is not what you thought? What if you live a romance that’s inconceivable and that you are conceived immaculately of every moment? No, can’t wrap your head around it? Don’t try. Doesn’t work. Just Be. Let yourself be had, let Love you are have Its way with you. Recognize when where how and who/what you do care for, deeply. It’s actually Essence seeing, recognizing, loving Itself appearing in and as the non-Other you see and appreciate, especially without conditions. Just take some time to notice how Love is already at work in you, in your life and through you.

This only Is. Whatever we may believe about self and other and experience therefrom, This Love Only Is. It’s time to “put away childish things” and go “where angels fear to tred” “boldly go where no one has gone before” truly enjoy Being adored and adoring, the Adoration. We have to give way so completely there’s no one left. We have to give forth so thoroughly and totally there’s no one left. Go for broke, for the ultimate. It’s astonishing!

It’s free. Doesn’t cost anything but an investment of time and energy to find right within us the most wonderful fulfillment—even amid great hardship we can experience in life in our world as it currently appears, and people are. Paradoxically strange, the weirdest, yet so true. We’ve all experienced it at some point though may not have quite gotten what it was. It’s because This is ever-available, always Here always Now. Life in our world has created a situation in which it can feel quite foreign, absent—remember hide and seek? The pain, the anguish gets washed away. Really, it does. I speak from direct and most profound experience. I cannot speak of the Truth without having found it everywhere in my experience, hard won it is.

This is not a pie-in-the-sky romance—it’s nitty gritty, down and dirty where we really live. It endures the greatest hardship, the worst of the worst. We endure even when we are totally broken by life’s events. We may Be in bleeding torment totally feeling forsaken, but … the one experiencing torment and the One who IS are One and the same! Sometimes it’s only in those moments we discover the Real Unity a comfortable life cannot reveal. It’s the broken hallelujah. Without being utterly broken open how do we know who suffers, who endures, who carries on, who loves? It’s a hard road but a worthy one for Such as You.

Ask and give thanks you can receive, open and open more to receive the limitless gifts of Love. It’s a principle of true nature, an actual law of creation, Someone once elucidated by saying, “ask and it shall be given, knock and it shall be opened unto you.” Ask, knock, open, yield, receive, arise, give forth over and over in This romance. It’s been so true in my life and the gratitude Here borders on the boundless. It’s Love which Is boundless, free and everywhere all ways.

May all eyes, hearts and souls, brain bodies and minds, be open to see, receive, give way utterly, and share the bounty of endless Love. What is essential is invisible to the eye, but is Everywhere present always.

Another happy LightHearted day to you from the Adoring One, thine own Belovèd.




By beautiful writer and poet whose writing inspired this post, David Whyte, Everlasting:

Posted in Being Real, Contemplation, On Principle, Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Fall Equinox Experience, Stargate date 9/21/18

This morning’s meditation found a desire for light to balance all the deep dark beauty of the black flame’s bourgeoning throughout the holyfractalgram. The equality of light and dark, night and day speaks breathes yin and yang amid the Tslagi performed these past few days.

The breath of Spirit ignites the flames of light and dark. The conscious breath of love’s creative life force energy draws the prana throughout the system providing energy for movement, consciously breathed movement throughout the day of This accomplishing all given each life form. It is as natural as breathing. 

Meditations focussed upon breath allow the mind to rest in the body, and then open in the illuminating awareness embodying in action just now, here whilst NowHere. The deep joy abounds enlivening action with peace, plenty, playfulness, presence, all This Is flowing through the activity at hand. It is enlivened, enheartened, enlightened joyful flow. We are This dancing emptiness. 

Living Daylight, Luminous Night. 

A dynamic balancing act, bringing forth expressive creation with an all-pervading loving intelligence that includes each spark of creation in the still point center bursting with light.

Matter seems to enclose the light placing a veil between the pure light and the spark of it in form, thus the spark seeks it’s origin in the unified field of Light it never actually left. Matter is merely condensed essence, essential elemental wisdom energies (earth water fire, air, space, sound, light) that make up form. The swirl of sensory information, the mistaken identity with body and mind, the seeking from the external what is missing internally, these make up the divisiveness that lacks what Is essential: the shadow. Your spark of light will not ultimately satisfy my desire to return. It’s not supposed to, it only provides temporary unities before divisiveness sets in again. This disturbance gets seeking going once more. Restless dissatisfaction with the things of the world, with objects of the mind do not supply what is endlessly effortlessly within and all around us if only we were but conscious, awake, available and availing ourselves of the limitlessness everywhere present. 

Acquaintanceship with This is a kind of apprenticeship, discipleship faithfully, devotedly, determinedly oriented and engaged in daily, all day. As This reveals it becomes a love affair, first a celebration of Homecoming with Holy Father Divine Mother for the returning One. Then more deeply, it’s simply the unfolding of Lover and Belovèd dancing, moving apart and together into ecstasies of union, raptures of ever-unfolding discovery in love, blissful resting in the arms of everlasting Love. What This has joined together let nothing put asunder, we must remain in fidelity to our holy matrimony. It is a sacrament. It is what the earthly representation is meant to be, the two united in union with the One, a holy trinity of Love’s power on earth.

Few marriages emanate the wedded bliss of eternal conscious union in Love. Hardly any aspire to it. Most are instinctually centered around self-preservation’s safety and security, sex and procreation, position and strength in partnership in and/or against the world. In the beginning when there’s excitement, attraction, relaxation and openness, the essential spark is seen and loved. After the honeymoon, the shadow rises and few are able to deal with it, understand it nor recognize that only conscious love of Being allows what is needed to bring pure light to the shadow, inhaled inspiration to lostness, guidance and purpose to foundering in disappointment, kind conscious creative life to tend the pain. The deeper experiences of abandonment, rejection, betrayal and exile of family of origin object relations come to the fore to be finally cared for and receive instead the same old abandonment, rejection, betrayal and exile feared, that further wound the scarred psyche. Perhaps trauma is involved as well. The heart that opened closes, the mind shuts down in dualism. Perception is clouded by the past arising in the present, shadowing the spark shining in the partner, in all people, in the world. Thought travels in emotional sensory swirls of misperception testified to and comiserated with, the drama of the past plays out in the present. The spark longs unrequited for Home, for true Love, and the other is blamed, shamed for not being the pure love and light of Being. So is oneself. Most relationships fail, others go on in a kind of deadening resignation, some with affairs on the side. Far too seldom do partners find their way through the psycho-social but primarily spiritual crises presented. When there are children involved, the next generation is being imprinted with the failures and lack, and on and on it goes, generation after generation. 

Meanwhile, the imprisioned splendor awaits within and under it all speaking in as many ways possible in and through life, experience, dreams, dramas, events, books, teachers, friends, sages, medicine people, videos, animals, plants, cyrstals of This other possibility that each soul can have. The essential drive for return and the drive for expression dance in light and dark, consciousness and unconsciousness for as many lifetimes as it takes for the individualized soul to discover what is essential and find it’s way. Strangely, along the way, involving supreme effort and sacrifice, it is discovered it’s been Here all along. The one seeking is the One sought, the One experiencing it all. The cosmic joke rings throughout the entire being from inception through deception to immaculate conception, to culmination to fulfillment in joyous love that never ends. All is shared as a limitless outpouring with and as the One that is all. Laughter is the BIG Medicine that heals all wounds throughout.

We live in peace at Home, rapturous love in our marriage bower, at play and work with the Holy Family among our kin, and it’s all the Hu-man family: This alive and very real on earth. All the failures and successes, births and deaths were opportunities to mature in the truth beyond the play of consciousness, to Be, free and fulfilled in Love’s unity.

I Am the roots and the pinnacle of the sacred mountain. I see the promised land is at hand today. The great central sun dawns in consciousness daily and the luminous dark night is refuge and resurrection, renewing nightly. Day is night and night is day. Everything comes and goes as ever-flowing love within This always and ever Here Now. I know in certainty only This Is, unfolding in all its radiant expression of natural perfection and purity, enfolding all back into inherent implicit purity of formlessness, the radiant extension and absorbing return dancing luminous emptiness to the song of songs, the song of the spheres. The experience is so vivid, vital and vast yet immanent, intimate and incarnate it is literally unbelievable, cannot be grasped by the mind. Yet in direct experience of essential engagement brings understanding, deep knowing, loving and living that enhances every moment appearing mundane or sublime, daily chores or sacred gathering. The spark returns and is Home, there is no where else, only Here. From within extends a true friend’s hand that says, “Come along, I’ll walk with you as you find your way. It’s joyous fulfillment for the One we are to disclose itself, enclose and discover Itself everywhere, play hide and seek. In sickness and in health, in birth and death, in poverty and in riches, come what may, I Am with you from before the beginning and beyond the end, throughout. No other reality exists. Seeming absent, I am the Presence that sees, experiences abject absence. Seeming present, I am the Absence that sees and recognizes prescient Presence. I know who you are. I get what is actually going on here, it is always revealing, playing, discovering, exploring, expressing, existing, emerging from absolute nonexistence to love, be and live as all existence This Is. This Being Is self-realizing in, as and through life that It Is as us. This Mystery Loves This Mystery. Let us enjoy, be instrumental vehicles and avenues for This self-fulfilling prophecy. Let us adventurers, explorers, lovers, enemyless peaceful warriors Be. Let US play.” 

Posted in Being Real, Contemplation | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

One Among the Many

The empty peace looks out
Sees what has been
“Says relationships with all women
Have been poor
Through this life form.”

Far from the madding crowd
Where love begins
I know not how
To relate, but I know we are One
Not two, not two no matter what my eyes see, ears hear
Not two, not two…

Only This empty nothingness
Peace, a heart full of grace
Overflowing if I allow
In relaxed receptivity…

An essential outpouring that washes clean
Slakes the thirst of the desiccated…

I know not from women
Nor from men
Venus Mars
Daughters sons
Suns moons
All are here in the cosmic dance …

Be danced among the many
Who are One.

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment


Rumi, artwork by Michael Greene

I’m in the middle of reading Brené Brown’s Daring Greatly wherein she speaks in a psycho-social manner about vulnerability and shame. It’s good stuff as far as it goes. I see her work as laying a kind of groundwork for the radical shift in consciousness, the miracle needed to change our lives and the world.  This morning I received a text “feeling like I’ve been dragged over a cheese grater.” This person has a great way with humorous metaphors. I know the feeling of raw exceedingly tender vulnerability that speaks to and can relate. When our good ole tried and untrue defenses come down, yeah howdy! How much energy do we put in trying not to be seen with our pants down! The resilience needed to remain in the vulnerable–openness continuum of Being This Human comes from a sense that everything that is occurring is valuable and worthy of our kind attention, our positive regard, our acceptance of ourselves as is. This incredible undoing and unlearning we are undergoing will bring up raw realness of such a sense of exposure we can hardly tolerate it but it is intimacy on the deepest levels, the intimacy we long for and without which we are miserable wretches. You know, that wretchedness that only grace assuages.

In our rawness we can become not simply vulnerable, but permeable to This something that is greater than we are, that is knocking on our inner door. So we are not simply at the effect of everything around us, we are receptive to what is within us that can resource us in life. From this, you may understand why people orchestrate dyads, true friend meetings in which vulnerability can be explored in a safe place with one another without it being interposed by sexual dynamics as well.

I read and wrote this as a note in my book, perhaps you’ll find it useful.

Daring to Be Permeable to the Divine

When I started asking participants about the experiences that left them feeling the most vulnerable, I didn’t expect joy to be one of the answers. I expected fear and shame, but not the joyful moments of their lives.

Excerpt From: Brené Brown. “Daring Greatly.” iBooks.

Without permeability, I don’t experience the divine nor the divine’s joy in Being Here alive and real. The cost of permeability is having our systems be open and vulnerable in an impermanent reality. Being connected and in communities/communion with our changelessness amid the ever-changing assists greatly. Belonging, reSoucefulness, that felt sense of Presence within, with us and actively engaged makes all the difference.

I, of myself, am not enough.
I see and feel my personal inadequacies every day. I fail frequently in some sense of the word. If I hide or cannot tell the truth about that, I am not permeable — I am defended. The truth is humiliating to the ego self and thank This that’s not all there is. We see all around us the inadequacies of people trying to do it on their own or having faith in some distant God that may or may not help out. We are conditioned to live like this and the insanity of it is hard to bear. Good news!

The intimacy permeability allows is excruciating. Hold on–what? Yes, excruciating! When This LHB (LightHearted Being) has access to us there’s nothing unknown or hidden. Even what we’ve hidden from ourselves gets exposed. We are becoming naked and restored to innocence and original blessing, but the process of the removal of defensive layers and being stopped, stripped bare even by the most loving Presence is a kind of vulnerability that leaves us quite raw. Heaven forbid someone should show up in our field and say something that inadvertently hits right smack dab into that place. Yikes! We’re likely to fall apart on the spot. We can feel quite fragile and it gets coded as weak, inadequate, not enough instead of strong, courageous, and valuable, right and good in our raw alive state.

We don’t trust one another and with good reason. Our trust was broken in relationship. We don’t simply sit and Be present with one another as is, entering in and being permeable to what’s here. We’re full of the 10,000 things and perhaps defended ourselves from whatever stimulation we’ve just had that was too much, feeling inadequate and out of touch with our inner reSourcing. How often do we quiet down, empty out, take in our surroundings, breathe and be, let alone notice our inner and outer cosmic comic consciousness, the One life we are, and rest in This Peace? In other words, center, align ourselves vertically and horizontally and start our conversation from that sweet spot that has everything This is available to us? More than enough with twelve baskets left over? How often do we benefit from the feast of living waters, fresh daily manna, and bread coming from the flow and substance of our true nature?

In a psycho-social realm based on painful scarcity, whether appearing as disproportionate wealth and poverty or simple inadequacy to the incredible complexities of the religious legal economic world of dominance and control the separated mind has made, we can easily feel woefully inadequate. Our defenses then come to bear. We are so busy rushing from one thing to the next we scarcely breathe, pun intended. We are running on our own limited resources unbenefitted.

Most of us leave the sanctuary found within via spiritual engagement the minute we get up or step outside. We run up into our minds immediately picking up the 10,000 things. That’s a basic defense against permeability vulnerability engenders and — oops! We are on our own again. I, of myself, am not enough but I have to deal with all the stuff. AND I don’t know how! (if I admit it) How I have longed for a clone to do all the stuff I don’t get to every day! It seems to take two or more people to live a single life… but what if it takes One? What if downsizing to a simpler life of highest values incorporated which includes the effort it takes all day every day for the mystical life of Being to essentially engage with every moment?

In This we can discover selfless effortless flow, fully engaged in the moment, resourced, creative, playful, enjoying and finding fulfillment regardless of outcome. What an investment! We have all felt it, experienced it at times, it’s actually natural. We can dare to be real and permeable to the divine that resources us to be in our lives, with one another in the risks of vulnerability.

Can We Be This Real?

Courage is a value I’ve discovered is central to my life, the way I live, and to my well-being. It’s the virtue at point 6 according to the Enneagram. It’s a heart-centered 
capacity and capability that allows us to stay in our experience and with one another even when it gets confrontative. It sets boundaries when we need them and gives us a sense of value, worthiness, and integrity when we stand up and in our truth. Veracity (the virtue at point 3) and the truth is another of the values I hold dear, not only truth-telling whether relative or sacred, but living into the truth of our unity that has been made so incredibly clear to me. The truth of our true nature and all that it is, is the Light of LightHearted that emanates in and through us when our inner permeability is working with our availability to be seen as we are, to tell the truth about our experience, the Whole truth inclusive of our Black Wholyness, the fathomless depth of our being as well as the goings on in the waves of the surface whether disturbed or placid, defended or scared vulnerable, risking all to be Real. How do we make ourselves safe for those around us to be real? How do we tell the truth and stay for its effect? How do they learn how to Be, and be vulnerable and appreciative of the importance of it, of staying with us as we are? It’s a complete cultural shift that begins with us, in our homes, workplace and with our friends. 

Can we Be This Real? That is my highest value that includes whatever is going on at the surface, with my human life as it is. To be 
available to let This breathe itself excruciatingly close into my experience as it is, no lies, cover-ups, letting all be known as only Omniscience can know it all by Omnipresently being all. There is no distance. For years I have inquired into the virtue at point 9, my home point: right action. It is allowing This to have Its way, to do the works. It is essential engagement with the moment by bringing all I Am to bear on my experience, pure loving kind compassionate empathetic unconditional Awareness awake and alive, knowing Itself to Be what is, All that Is, that ONLY is: the unity consciousness of LightHearted Being. We all have it, are fully equipped with it, but like the days before we knew about electricity, we don’t give ourselves access to it. Thus we only had firelight and candles, and long dark nights. And then there’s Omnipotence. Imagine having all the cosmic comic consciousness of This loving mystery having our backs all the live-long day! 

If I find myself experiencing disconnection, I know it isn’t actually real, though it is being experienced and not to be denied. What is meeting that experience? The Presence of awareness is always here, on board and available. “Seek ye first the 
kingdom of heaven and all else will be added unto you.” Where is this kingdom? Within. So in this situation, I turn to deeper than thoughts, feelings, sensations, perceptions experiences, the data banks of knowledge. What is here when all that is dropped for a moment? Thank you Gangaji, Papaji, and Ramana! It is literally essential to find out every time. Before being overcome by stressful experience, I stop, empty out, Be still and know, be where I am, notice beauty, harmony around me. Rest. Take a breath, breathe out all, breathe in all This. If I’ve become stressed, overstimulated, I’ve still got to stop and drop all the way down in, as well as outwardly connect with the natural realm of pure Being, the beauty around me to remind myself my story is not the whole deal. 

I don’t have to come up with courage on my own. Courage arises in the willingness of an open heart to Be This Real no matter what, and comes from what is not afraid, has no reason to fear even though the body shakes, the soul may even quiver. This has me, I’ve got This, and even that dualism disappears into only This Is 
upon occasion making Itself Real. From contact to connection, to communion to union. How? Because the conversation is continuously going on within me, in silence and in stirred consternation. I remember one day in contemplation being struck by Jesus’ words when he was giving thanks for the bounty about to be received but not yet manifest, “Thank you Father, I know that Thou hearest me, and Thou hearest me always.” I wondered what that was like, to be so certain of that and that the responsiveness was immediate, the invisible making itself visible right then and there. I wondered daily and for weeks, months I lived inside the inquiry, exploration, experimentation. I have since been given to realize it is always so, to feel sense and experience the essential conversation of This formless invisible Presence with Itself formed and visible in unique formations, infinitely, eternally. 

I had no such 
relationship with my own father. He said, “Children should be seen and not heard.” I actually tried to be pretty invisible as well, the archetypal lost child. To be seen. let alone express my feelings, to be vulnerable was exceedingly dangerous in my household. I knew nothing about it. I realized I knew nothing about the Father Jesus had such an amazingly close relationship with, “I and the Father are One.” I even wondered what kind of earthly father Joseph was who was in on the fact that we are all actually born of This that only is, and this particular child Jesus especially so being the culmination of generations of Essenes dedicating themselves to bringing forth the Messiah. It has taken a LOT of investment of dedicated time, energy, exploration, study, examination, truth-telling expression to get my system to the place where this relationship of unity is recognized and consciously participated in daily, on-going. Where is the focus of my attention? I have been unlearning at the unschool for the Holy Fool a long long time and the results are incredible, beyond my wildest dreams, hopes and imaginings and continuing to come unexpectedly, surprisingly.

photo by Julian Misliuc

This is Knocking at the Door to Gain Entrance, Let It In!

My portal, the door upon which This knocks, has been the present moment as is, I as I am in recognition of what actually Is and what relatively is being experienced. My subjective experience in one hand, and my knowing of the truth of life in the other, and the 
reconciliation that occurs in the willingness to tell the whole truth and nothing but, to be exposed at the deepest levels of my consciousness. What really allowed it was when I recognized that at the deepest level, beyond all the layers of defense built up around the hurts the primordial wound of separation and the many ways it plays out, was This loving embrace, This all-providing Presence. Over and over and over, in this situation and that one, this devastation and loss, and that confusing painful matter I applied the healing balm of truth and kind concern. This learning to value everything as it is as the golden opportunity; as the potential for This to act, and as the unfolding of This that Is all. It takes quite a bit for some of the crap experienced to become compost, to discover lurking under the surface is Its purity. To confidently experience that This is coming up through the asphalt and concretized reified beliefs in and deep imprinting of our separation. Ramana said that when we drop down in, the heart rises to meet us. It is so true! And amid all that the gift of humor, the humorous perspective that allows not taking everything so terminally seriously but cosmic comically.

I come back to simple joys in a humble unpretentious life, those that touch my heart and soul deeply and that I know are impermanent, just a fleeting moment in eternity. My life is abundant with them now, and I enjoy each and every one as fully as possible as they slip beyond my grasp as soon as they arise. If I were attached to those things, I’d be in a heap of misery. The glow fades, the day ends. But the 
deep dark womb, the black wholy Mystery always has more in store, and the trend is always to better, more full, deep, expansive experiences of Being This Hu-man, This One that only Is. 

All I am 
speaking of is the Wings of Freedom: presencing and inquiry — the means of getting to the true heart of the matter until the realization enters life as Itself. To me, it is the wholy point of human existence, and all the peace, harmony and fulfillment in life we could possibly want in relationships, work/contribution, re-creation, creativity, play and fun, adventure, aliveness beyond the need to be safe and secure, healthy with enough but inclusive of those human needs … well, there’s nothing denied us. We limit ourselves unconsciously and even consciously at times, thinking about, speaking aloud and acting upon, sharing culturally accepted misinformation. The discovery and deep profound realization that there is enough, we are enough, we have enough; that scarcity of separation that our economy and our interactions are based upon simply isn’t so is world changing — as we live it. And we can live it in the simplest of daily acts of generosity of spirit, kindness, offering space to one another to be as we are. To give and accept such offerings from one another as the greatest most valuable precious thing we could possibly give and receive: being real, true to the truth, open and courageously available to one another, honoring one another and our needs for silence, for boundaries that are permeable, negotiable, flexible and yet strong, a mutual upholding what is valued most in life, and our needs for genuine connection and belonging. Then we have lives of meaning and purpose that has nothing to do with the values born of the ScareCity culture. Move out of there pemanently! Such are the tender mercies we receive and can offer one another. So it is, and through us, so may it be on earth.

LightHeartedly, wholy with love, 
Posted in Being Real | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Sounding Board

Morning dawns …

a fresh day, renewed renewing
inner arising brings 
the clear inner light
and quiet of Silence
the sounding board of Life

sincerity quickens the soul
with a love of truth
that surpasses all understanding —
everything is given way
in the giving way

the inner abiding ruthlessness
of merciful annihilating love
nails all movement to stillness —
momentarily eternal
unmoving endless presence
that is a pure absence
that eliminates everything
believed, indulged… forgives
gives for good and all

it is found in the deep places
where brokenness is denied
but not escaped forever
inescapable misery comes
knocking at the walls
of self defeat —
such mercy such mercy!

the sounding board
of silence resounds impeccably
no doubt, no fear
all is nothing here
thundering throughout all
the unspeakable truth

This only Is, I Am Is This
in all the deep dark denied broken 
human heart mind belly soul This enters
as we let be
our pains
admitting them
admitting them…

submitting them to This living
love’s all-seeing knowing
unconditional scrutiny
where our waves break
on the shores of existence

nothing to be done
and This acts

through us
This sees
the brokenness and pain in action
embodied is subjected directly crosswise
amid it surrenders and loves,
at grace’s behest, forgiving occurs
in the dream turned nightmare
believed and acted upon
even among those who love their best
and fail, are blind yet, lost
forlorn pure light enduring
what exists among the disenfranchised
disconnected until the pain of loss, lostness, 
grief is the unmistaken true calling home
of the sounding board within all. 
Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Enter In

Valentines love fractal pattern

There is a simple map for the journey from here to Here. There is no distance between us and what we want and need most to live fully: our Self. To travel the non-distance to NowHere, enter in, intrepid heart, enter in. 

There are lots of fancy-schmancy roadmaps for seekers of something out there, all have their beauty and purpose, nothing wrong with them, no problem. Many people enjoy the long route that seems to lead them somewhere they want to go, they have many signposts along the way, “Yes you’re getting there. See, this is better and that is better.” In my life I am eternally grateful for the ruthless compassion that found it’s way to me to call off the search, to stop, be still and fully enter in and engage wherever I found myself. What I found/find within every experience mundane, sublime, horrifying in full-spectrum human life is the treasure I longed for most: Mine own Beloved Self, here, there and everywhere. The one who longed and sought ended, the lost is found in I Am; in the pure absolute where even that sound disappears and pure all-powerful thunderous Silence reigns supreme.
How does this come to pass? It is to stop, Be still and know that I Am, and enter in to what is being experienced and avoided: both the sublime as well as the horrific. When we tell the unvarnished truth that we do not live the truth that has been revealed and opened in our consciousness, we find that it is due to one thing: we don’t want to enter in to our experience, but we want it to change. On top of that, we resist change, comfortable in our hells until they become too uncomfortable. That seems to take a lot, doesn’t it? We exhaust ourselves seeking something to assuage the pain and suffering, we even become evildoers, living backward in our pursuits, anything please—but simply enter into it, face it ourselves directly. If you’ve been with me for long, I have undoubtedly asked you, “what is the very good reason you are doing that?” The answer is usually that the conditioning endured by children in states of powerlessness proved overwhelming, traumatic and we don’t want to experience it ever again. Period.  Avoidance at all costs, and it costs a terrible exacting price, rather than A-void-dance.
Trauma is the perception that our life is at risk. Reading this, the good news is that you have survived it. So why is it so difficult to enter in now, when your life isn’t at risk? Because the identification that formed around the wound from the trauma(s) will cease to exist. Childhood is traumatic, just growing up even in basically adequate circumstances is traumatic. A person once asked me, “Is there any birth that isn’t traumatic?” Perhaps not. I know of one that occurred in a state of ecstasy in an ocean cove with dolphins. The way we enter this world is often the exact metaphor we live out in life. That’s what made rebirthing such a powerful technique. What rebirthing actually is, is entering in to the experience directly, dynamically and the rebirth takes place, the old trauma breathed and washed away. Hot tubs and breath work may be necessary to undo that trauma, but really, we are being birthed every moment—every moment we die to the moment before. We tend to ignore this fact of life, avoiding death, avoiding the void we don’t know is also the womb of infinite potential. We want our mommies and daddies instead. They or somebody is going to give it to us by god!

Cry Uncle!

To enter in, intrepid explorer means to stop, drop everything, empty out, nakedly innocently wisely enter in consciously, wide awake, this moment here and now as is: As Is inclusively. For those who haven’t yet had an inkling or experience of the treasury of natural perfection that awaits us within every experience, it’s quite an act of courage that arises amid a terrified vulnerability that the brave and valiant heart quakes in front of, but enters in anyway. I’ve traveled down many roads, learned and forgotten more tools and techniques than can possibly be implemented to arrive at this simplicity: enter in. It’s often a screeching screaming leap of faith in to the horror and out into the unknown. In my own enduring discipline and that of those I am honored to companion, it may take much to get to the no-holds-barred wrestling match that pins us down finally and utterly until we give way, yield, cry, “uncle!” Frequently we are just too exhausted to get up again—we finally die on the cross and find the sweet spot that awaits us there. I remember vividly when it occurred to me never get up again, but stay down in, all the way down in until the non-distance from here to Here takes place. I call this experience meeting in the heart of truth. It’s the NowHere where everything that matters takes place, the holy playground upon which we meet light heart to light heart, soul to soul, lover and beloved of truth, belly to belly, broken down and lifting up as love has its way with us. Until love and the truth of unity set us free to love impossibly, impeccably, beyond comprehension, all-inclusively with Self selflessly, LightHeartedly.

The Companion doesn’t provide anything that isn’t already Here. No great display of magical siddhis/powers necessarily takes place. The abracadabra mantra indicates the deep attuned conscious union with what is. Sometimes we slog through the muck and mire of long-abandoned areas of consciousness as light bearers of pure awareness. From having entered in and disappeared in This, the LightHearted Companion emerges as the Holy Fool of and for This love. The reflecting appearance of a Someone simply is essentially engaged and conversing from the absolute, perhaps playfully with joy, or ruthlessly cutting through the structures of nonsense, but always revealing what already is so simple by Being LightHearted, who we are, what I This Am is. Entering in, all the way down in is ultimately a disappearing act that empties out, is full of potential and births all.


The End of Usury
No human conditioned mind can grasp, fathom or use what This is. The mistake so many make, and so many are making money from, is the idea that we can use This to “manifest” a better human life, free of suffering, and even seemingly altruistically do good(code for being acceptable, worthy, belonging). Busting that hubris comes along in the organic unfolding always. This past year in the offerings that include my own total experience, an excursion into what I came to call the sacred wound occurred. Amazingly, yet another level of pain and woundedness arose in my system due to the satguru life is, and among the many revelations that occurred was the recognition and even deeper valuing of being, entering in as is— what takes place could be called healing, but there is no one and nothing in need of healing. Whole making, peacemaking, fun making and love making in life, daily life As Is, happens when we enter in—my life fulfilling, unreasonably joyous and free is a testimony to that fact.
I’ve looked long and hard at what changes, grows, evolves, awakens, embodies and what does not that is already whole, perfect and complete within itself and the marriage bond of love between the two that are one. The changeless and the ever-changing are indivisible and when we enter in, we stand in our humanity as essential to the fulfillment of the divine as the divine is the fulfillment of humanity.
It’s crucial to find this out for oneself, not take my word for it but let the word point you to the truth of the matter. It’s a relationship of unity that is of mutual benefit, and all our relations are to be derived from it. It’s the meaning and purpose of human life, the point of existence that shines out from the core: the star tetrahedron, dynamic double torus and black whole we are. It all reveals when we are ripe. Ripeness occurs naturally as we enter in, letting all be as is while the truth actively engages us until satisfaction arises—only in conscious union.
We suck at relationships and we are a relational species here in the land of infinite diversity in infinite combinations that are all one. The cause of this is the same: we are unwilling to enter in, humbly die to our self, selfish needs and desires, avoidance of pain, and yield to a love that demands everything of us, all of us. That level of maturity escapes those who haven’t entered in enough to have the willingness to do whatever it takes to stay true to the truth of our unity no matter what. That means to stop the action, be still and burn in all the drive and momentum to follow the course long laid out that ends in the same known hell and damnation. There’s always an excuse, and that’s the ruthlessness of the merciful annihilating all-powerful absolute truth and love that we are. Facing that, burning in shame and humiliation, acknowledging we have betrayed what we know to be so once again. We let our conditioning be more powerful by giving it the power to dominate us. It’s awful to face, we’d so much rather not expose to the light the darknesses of the unconscious shadows within that run the show, rule the day and our interactions. Good news: This is an end to that. Blessed are the truly contrite repentant sincere souls for they shall know forgiveness, salvation, grace and gratitude boundlessly.
If we do not feel we have the ability to face all that and tell the truth, we will not “go” the non-distance from here to Here. We will not unlearn how not to be This we are. The remedy begins with telling the truth, not with judgment, harshness, blame, guilt or shame, but with humility and kindness, knowing our saving grace is at work in the very heart of truth. We tell the truth, “I haven’t got what it takes of myself and I don’t really believe anyone does or that I can access to what does” thus laying bare and entering in hopelessness, helplessness, powerlessness at the core of our despair and desperation.  The machinations of survival of a “me” that doesn’t exist but as a thought tend to show up. These patterns are powerful, tricky, exist and operate at subtle levels, but are not as powerful and all-pervasive as This Stillness. We reach the end of two powers, good and evil. When This takes hold in our lives we are goners. It’s already a done deal no matter how many more lifetimes it takes. If you’re reading this now, it could be now for you—the only time there is. Why wait? Why put it off? For what purpose?
I have tested this, gambled my entire life on what has been revealed that it might be lived fully. A few years ago in place of a birthday celebration, I was inspired to create a day of celebrating Being This Alive. It’s an everyday matter, but we single out special days, holy-days, to make some kind of a fuss, an occasion. August 8, 2015, the 8:8:8 Lion’s Gate seemed an excellent day to invoke the sovereign Real. It’s the big(by infinite grace) deal of abundant life available to all, not made a big deal of, but shared with anyone curious enough to ask.
Take, for example, that fact that we frequently wait for the funeral to recognize how deeply we appreciate someone’s unique Presence and their gifts—including those of propelling us headlong into what we’d rather avoid. Crash! Brain splitting headaches, pains in the neck and elsewhere get all our attention. We want to use the other to avoid or to make it all better, get the missed and longed for pleasure that is the natural experience of union we lack by avoiding, not entering in. Thus we suck at relationship, whether it’s with our true nature or with one another, we all are involved in lack and usury, indebtedness, withholding, giving power away to an undependable inadequate (to us) other, impotent rage and hatred at that arise, are entertained and indulged, and the fear of abandonment and death keep us bound up. This completely overlooks that passionate abundant life we are that can burst forth within us and from us as our own unique contribution to life as This life.
The Direct Route Home
The direct route, the only map you’ll ever need, is to enter in as is. Presence, inquire/experientially explore, Be Still, this trifecta works in a dynamic union. Amid the nothing ever happens of the absolute, everything happens: implosions, explosions, big bangs, breakthroughs, breakdowns of insufficiencies and compensatory structures built around them. When we look at the psyche, that’s what we see. When we look at society, we see institutionalized separationism abounds, manmade means of domination and control we call patriarchy and its worshipped transactional economy as the only means of getting. It all is coming down as This is rising up within us all. It’s a collective upwising as Swami Beyondananda calls it. We are the coming of the Holy Fool of and for This love, going sane in an insane world. We cannot help ourselves, there’s an internal imperative externalized in dramas and crises all over the sickening planet and throughout the ailing dying species that all are opportunities for inclusive whole-making right within us—our very own consciousness that is the one consciousness right here and now, invoked, embodied, forgiving, embracing, liberating and manifesting.
So as the I-LightHeart-You Day Valentine offering, even if you cannot love yourself or what is in your life or the world this moment, do not let anything stop you from stopping, entering in deeply and fully this moment as is. Be still, and know that I This Am, and let flow whatever arises within—you’re functioning as a clearinghouse for human consciousness that can offer the purity of Being as living translucence. There is no greater act of love than to lay down one’s life for one’s True Friend, the one within and appearing as all our relations without; to give all that one is and has to be true to the truth, authentically even unto the death. “You’ll be the death of me—YAY!!!” It’s how the real is recognized as Real, and the no distance is traversed. For I-LightHeart-MySelf Day, give yourSelf This, enter in and find it already Here, yourself as self and other already This, as is, wherever, whenever, however, with whomever you are. Stop and stay, insist This reveal amid the distress, whatever it takes as long as it takes. Be in it, essentially and completely engaged, don’t hold back—be totally real, tell the truth respectfully of all involved regardless of safety factors. Let the bravery of your indomitable invincible heart take over.
In this lies all that we long for forever. All the glories organically unfold, the deepest secrets discovered the world over in lineages that proclaim the same thing in different ways, offering distinct and valuable facets of infinity. It is indigenous, inherent, organic and real, proceeding at the pace of nature, of true nature birthing and incarnating, manifesting and liberating as a whole. Stop trying to get there, somewhere else, Be Here Now, as Ram Das said so long ago. The treasure, the diamondesque pearl beyond all price is right here. Take the direct route to NowHere in faith, stubborn determination, desperation, whatever you’ve got—Be This brave, it’s within you to do so. Come to Be still and know yourSelf as what does it all gracefully, mercifully, ruthlessly annihilating all that is malformed by loving it to death. Come alive as abundant life. It awaits us all within, pumping that brave heart of light that truly wants what it actually can have, because This is actualizing Itself in, as and through us only and aways Now. It’s gospel: it/we/i/This is Here now, nowhere else but right here, this now, and this now, and This Now. Stop everything and find out for yourself without delay! Have a happy I-LightHearted-MySelf day! Yes, Holy Fool (it takes One to know One) here’s your invitation to enter in the holy playground of This LightHearted Being you are and enjoy yourSelf to the fullest, as This lives its abundant life to the fullest in, as, through US the gorgeous magnificent unity self of This we are.

As a voice inside me once said and I immediately obeyed, Don’t just read it, do it! Now and always My Beloved, Now and always, before all and unto the end, to the beyond and back to right here again. I lay down my life for My True Friend, for My Beloved I die is ecstasies of union, rapturous blissful union amid mundane daily life, loving the dishes unwashed, the windows clean, the paperwork piles, the policeman that reminds via ticket that I haven’t got my papers in order, the friend that reaches out, the responsive outreach that embraces it all, enters in with, selflessly, fearlessly demonstrating This Love Is for as long as it takes whatever it takes. And it takes all. It is all in—in order to give forth, to offer out the blessèdness. The flame of Love burns brightly like the life-giving sun right here in This heart. Blessed are those who die in love for they shall know the love, the life that never dies nor ends. May all enter in as is,
LightHeartedly, as always, Anrael
Please note that there are no advertisements on this page. There is quite an investment of time and energy that is involved in writing. If you find it of value please share, like, make comments as to your experience. Please consider practicing the generosity that demonstrates the thanks giving that This makes Itself known to us in so many ways. Thank Be to This.
Posted in Being Real, Practices | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Soul Doth Sing

Why would i ever cling
to so fragile a thing
as a thought?

It all comes to naught.

Wisps of mist tendered thin
on heaven scent wind
breathing life without strife.

But to defy we reify
and deify this thing
called I
right along with me and my.

Reifying magics bring on apace
a case of concreatisis in place
of Life’s seeds alive.

In cracking open concretely
does the flower jive so sweetly.

Concretizing as real is the pain
from which to refrain;
the hell bound deification
from which i need a permanent vacation.

Vacate the premises
of I some body have some thing to gain.
That way is loss
and being lost, I’ve found

upon investigation this solidly bound
and kept I isn’t there at all!
Concretized foundations crumble
and man-made houses of cards fall.

In the absence of this no-thing
my soul doth sing.

Posted in Poetry | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment